Another School Shooting

I had to turn off the news tonight. The coverage of the school shooting in Uvalve, Texas, was too much for me. It happened yesterday afternoon. An 18-year old walked into an elementary school, barracaded himself in a classroom and started shooting the teachers and students in the room (he had already shot his grandmother in the face). Two teachers and nineteen students are dead. Elementary students. 

I have had many students over the years for whom going to school is a safe place. Their homes have some upheaval. There isn't food security. Their neighborhood isn't safe. The end of the school  year produces anxiety for some. They're made to leave their place of safety.  

But school isn't safe. It hasn't been for a while. Posts are going around on facebook with a list of all the school shootings that have happened in the US. It's long. Too long. One school is too long. There have been 2,052 school shootings in America since 1970. There have been 27 in the five months of 2022 alone. 

Fingers get pointed at gun laws, lack of mental health help, social media...and these all have roles in what is going on, but it's something deeper. Other nations don't have these issues. Shootings may happen but not on the same scope. Since 2009 Mexico has had 8 school shootings, South Africa 6, India 5, Canada and France 2, and the USA had 288. 

The Governor of Texas and law enforcement described the shooter and his actions as evil. And evil was definitely present in the taking of those young innocent lives. The fingerprints of evil are everywhere today. Many in the church are quick to point to the fall of society away from Christian morals. I was recently in a three part Sunday School class discussion how the Christian faith is meant to be amoral. Knowing good and evil is a result of the Fall (sin entering the world through Adam and Eve's disobediance. The church imposes it's concepts of good and bad, right and wrong, holy and evil on society. But that wasn't the intent when God created humanity. Humans were just meant to be in relationship with God. Life flowed from that. Righteousness was meant to be how life was lived--not "good" or "evil." Those things weren't even knowable until the Fall. 

I bring this up because I think what is missing in society isn't morality, but love. Jesus said that the world would know His followers by their love. But what the world knows the church for is hate and judgment. Much of the church makes war against the LGBTQ movement, abortion clinics, socialist liberals and any other cause they deem as evil rather than showing the world love. 

We don't know the shooter's motives for what he did--he was shot to prevent more bloodshed. Reporters say he was bullied as a youth and spent a lot of time alone. I can't wonder if he just needed more love. 

Tonight I had to turn the news off. It was just too hard after several minutes of seeing all those parents who have an empty bedroom in their homes, the fellow students who witnessed the horrors of their classmates being gunned down. 

It is not easy to go to work at a school wondering what could happen. It is not easy being a parent and sending my children to school knowing that they live in a world where they have to practice in their classrooms what to do in the event an intruder walks into their school. The world is not right. We can't keep doing nothing. I can't watch more of this on the news. 

Stubborn Love

Several years ago at my ex-niece's (I find there are no proper names for family members who were a part of my life for almost two decades, but are not any more) wedding I was introduced to the music group The Lumineers when they played their song Ho Hey ("I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart") in a sideshow about the groom's mom who had passed away when he was young. I've since found the raw vocals and haunting lyrics of The Lumineers poignant at many times in my life. Though I'm older than their target audience sometimes the songs feel like a soundtrack to dating as a middle-aged man.

I've made many mistakes in relationships in the past. I fully own that. Some were because of my own issues which got in the way of a health relationship, some were from poor decisions, and some were just because of blindness. But I've hurt others, and gotten hurt in the process. My sister pointed out to me recently that I'm a lover--that loving others is part of my DNA, and I desire the romantic relationship. I'm not always good with my feelings, but I'm usually pretty good at knowing love. Of course, love is less of a feeling, and more of a decision. Still, my heart is involved. And though I try and be discerning in love and who I give my heart to, I still end up with heartbreak from time to time.

Many times as a 40-year old bachelor I have wanted to give up on love. I don't want to go through more pain and hurt again. I want to avoid the tears. But eventually I come around and remember how good it feels to love another person and let them into my life.

The Lumineers' song Stubborn Love reminds me that it is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all:

She'll tear a hole in you, the one you can't repair
But I still love her, I don't really care

When we were young, oh, oh, we did enough
When it got cold, ooh, ooh, we bundled up
I can't be told, ah, ah, it can't be done

It's better to feel pain, than nothing at all   

The opposite of love's indifference

It's easy to become indifferent. To become apathetic. To become walled-up to avoid hurt and pain. 1 John 4:8 tells us, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear." Fear. Indifference. Apathy. Whatever you want to call the opposite of love (I don't think it's hate--hate may be a byproduct of fear, but fear is a much fuller dark side to love).

Tennsyon penned, "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I agree. But it's also better to have loved and kept that love. But let not the pain of love lost or the fears of loves to come keep one from loving at all. Yes, there will be heartache anytime one loves another. But what is gained in loving another makes life so much richer.