Milestones

This weekend we were in Iowa celebrating my niece's graduation. Actually, she graduates next weekend, but she's also involved in a few state track meet events that same weekend, so her party was this weekend. High school graduation parties are a big deal in Iowa. The party involves a "shrine" to the graduate (pictures, awards, etc.--a small portion of which is shown here), gift giving (which seemed like pretty much people are just giving cards--presumably with money--in her area) and plenty of food (either small meat and cheese sandwiches with various salads and a cake or some creative theme--my niece had a chocolate fountain with various dip-able foods).

Because her cousin was also graduating, they both had their parties together at the same time. They were expecting around 250 people. I'm not sure if quite that many showed up, but it was a lot.

We don't have many rites of passage in our culture. High school graduation is one of the few. It should be a big deal. Generally, most schools in Iowa--the smaller ones at least--don't celebrate other steps (ie. Kindergarten graduation, 6th grade graduation, middle school graduation). So after thirteen years of school, and essentially becoming an adult--going off on your own--it's a noteworthy time to celebrate. 

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Tonight at church (we got back to Minneapolis with just a few minutes to unpack the car and get ready!) friends had their youngest son dedicated. It's another milestone of sorts--not that the child does anything to accomplish it other than being born. But it's a rite of passage nonetheless.

It's a big step for parents to dedicate their child. Essentially, they're saying, "God, you've given us this child to take care of as best we can, but ultimately the child is Yours. Whatever plans we have for this child take the back seat to Your plans. We know that someday we have to let go and give this child up to You."

I appreciate that along with the child's family, extended family, and family friends that we as the church body affirm the blessing of the child in our midst. We commit to being a part of their development.

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It's good to mark milestones in life. Especially in children. We need to celebrate children more. Not to build up their self-esteem, boost their ego, or pamper them; but because there are steps towards living an independent, interconnected life that are work marking. They need to know they're doing things well and that they have the support of many people who love them. 

On Another Birthday

It didn't start off as a great day. The electricity went off in the house in the middle of cooking breakfast. The boys were dawdling (imagine that) on the way out the door. Already late, one of them ran back to the house to get a book from inside. I hate to admit it, but I yelled a bit. The kids of school have been ready for the end of school--but we still have six more days of it. The lead teacher in my classroom went home sick in the afternoon, and the other assistant in our room wasn't able to arrive until 30 minutes after I was supposed to be teaching gym with another class. I managed to fit in an appointment to the Genius Bar at the Apple Store after school to get my phone looked at, but it was a spur of the moment thing so I didn't have my phone backed up, so they weren't able to get the problem solved (which will mean another trip to the mall). Of course, in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't that terrible of a day; people have much worse ones. But it wasn't great.

But friends from church invited the boys and I over for supper, knowing that my wife is out of the country. When we got there, we saw several familiar cars. It turned out that our old small group had come together for birthday nachos. Everyone--even their dog--ran out with birthday hats on as we came up the sidewalk.

I'm not a big birthday celebration person. It's probably some unhealthy self-worth stuff going on--not liking the attention, not feeling I deserve it. But it was nice. It was a reminder of why I need community.

Community makes me not alone. That's an obvious fact, but I am bent toward avoiding sometimes--especially when I'm down on myself.

Community reminds me of the good within myself (especially when they went around the table saying something they liked about me).

Community, I'm learning, makes life worth it.

As I travel around the sun another time, I'm discovering how much I wished I learned earlier on in life. I'm trying to make things better, and leave a positive mark on those I come in contact with on my journey through life. I'm learning to embrace my imperfections and weaknesses, as well as moving forward, becoming a better person.

And I can't do it alone.

One Week Later

We've been in the house for a week now. We've still got things to unpack (we're waiting for some shelves for the kitchen cabinets that were on back order), but we're getting fairly settled. We're still adjusting some to the move from the 'burbs to the city. Mainly it's the noise levels that we're not used to: right now there are firecrackers going off in the evening (and afternoon), a lot more bass coming out of car speakers, and our neighbors are 10 feet away.

We're also contending with the fact that ice cream trucks drive by several times a day--the boys learned what the trucks were when my parents were here. Thankfully, my wallet is empty, so I've got an excuse.

We love having visitors (and we now have a guest room if you want to stay overnight). Our friend Amy Mingo (who introduced us to Urban Homeworks who we worked through to get the home) has been by twice. I'm borrowing a few pictures she took so you can see the outside at least. But please feel free to stop by if you're close. Urban Homeworks will be helping us have an open house at some point. We'll let you know when.

We appreciate prayers for us in our new neighborhood as we try to build relationships (so far, I've only gotten to talk with the man who lives behind us; his Ecuadorian accent is still quite thick). But, I should stop spending time here and get back to unpacking and housework. Maybe we'll find some time to explore our neighborhood a little more today, too.

School's Out for the Summer

Today was Anders' last day of school. His class went on a field trip to ride the street car between Lakes Harriet and Calhoun. Nils and I got to go along. They enjoyed riding the rails (though after the first time up and back on the track, Anders was ready for something else).

We're grateful that Anders has had a great first year. He had a great teacher (thanks, Miss Lehman) and made a lot of good friends (which are going to be hard to leave when we move--thankfully we're still really close). And we're grateful Anders has had a good experience so that Nils is interested in school and education.

And Then there Were Two (Wheels)

Last Sunday I had to replace a tire on Nils' bike. It had worn through. Tires that small are impossible to find. Thankfully, a good friend from church had some extras. While replacing the tire, Nils asked if he could have his training wheels off; Anders was already expressing interest in trying to ride without his. Anders had tried last summer, but I had pushed him into it a little too much, and he wasn't confident enough to try it.

Now, they both seemed to be ready. Admittedly, I had expected Nils to be able to ride without training wheels before Anders. He moved up to a two-wheel scooter this spring and has great balance. He has the potential to be a great gymnast if he was born in a family who could afford it.

Anyway, they were both ready to try without the training wheels. And they both did remarkably well on their first attempt. Nils was actually riding down the side walk with me walking beside him, not holding on to him, as Beth drove home from work. The neighbors were impressed and thrilled that Beth got to see it. They've both been practicing some all week, and I'm trying not to push it too much with them. Nils requested his training wheels put back on this morning so he could ride without someone having to help him start and stop all the time. That'll give me more opportunity to work with Anders, anyway.

Riding a bike requires two things: confidence in yourself and trust in the person who's helping you. I suppose it requires protective gear, plenty of practice and persistence and a bike, of course. But confidence and trust are good lessons to work off.

To accomplish or succeed at anything, we need confidence in ourselves. That confidence comes when we root ourselves in the knowledge of who God created us to be. We need to build ourselves up in the fact that God loves us more deeply and more passionately that we can ever know. That keeps us humble, preventing overconfidence, yet bold, knowing that God gives us the strength to do whatever He calls us to.

We also need to trust the One who will help us do what He calls us to do. That goes without saying, but sometimes we forget (I'm including myself in this) that He empowers us to do whatever is in His will for us to do.

With practice, following God is like riding a bike, so take off your training wheels.

(And I totally have to give credit to Amy Mingo on the photos as I'm always running alongside and can never get a picture of my own taken of the boys)

We're Moving!

We have a house (kind of)! We signed the purchase agreement today, with June 18 being the day we finalize and move in.

It's a land trust home, meant to help lower income families get into homes. We own the home, but lease the land. If we sell the house at any point, we sell it back to someone who qualifies. The organization is a great Christian ministry meant to help families as well helping neighborhoods.

So, we're excited. But I admit that I have a bit of apprehension as well. Our monthly payments will be less than our rent, but we also have the additional costs that we haven't had: utilities (we currently average about $35 a month), water, garbage, etc. There'll be extra costs down the road. Anders didn't take the news well today (even though it'll mean more play space for him). He's not excited about leaving his friends and school. We do love our neighborhood and the opportunities around us. But we've moved plenty before--and I'm sure we'll move again at some point. We know we'll meet new neighbors and make new friends and find Anders a school that he'll enjoy.

So, I would ask for your prayers in all this. Prayers for the move, the house, our neighborhood, our finances and for the other decisions that we'll need to make (such as a school for Anders).

For those who want more information, here's the details of the house (off the website) along with some pictures:

1426 25th Ave N

Features:

• 3 Bedroom
• 1 ½ Baths
• 1,812 square feet
• Brand-new 2-Car garage
• Completely remodeled
• Brand-new appliances
• Hardwood floors
• Forced Air/Heating

A Home of Our Own?

About a month ago we placed a call to an organization called Urban Homeworks just to see what their program was like. We had friends from church who were looking into purchasing their first home through them.

Now, a month later, we're looking at signing a purchase agreement and possibly moving into a home of our own in the next month or so (it's a land trust home). It's exciting and a bit scary. I like to ruminate on things before I make a big decision.

We've never owned a home before. Often our homes were provided as part of my work package. And we've rented a bit, as well.

Truth be told, if it weren't for Urban Homeworks, we wouldn't be even looking into housing. Their mission is "to perpetuate the hope of Jesus Christ through innovative community development that produces dignified housing for low income families, a strategic network of good neighbors and the redemptive development of real estate." It's kind of a mission strategy: going into some of the rougher neighborhoods in Minneapolis to be light.

It's scary because we're happy with our current location. We like our neighbors. We like the parks and nature center nearby. We like our proximity to places and the ease of getting there. Anders likes his school, his teacher, his friends. There's also part of me that doesn't want to stay in Minneapolis forever (especially after time away in Iowa); but there's another part of me that wants to invest in neighbors (and the neighborhoods our church's ministry is in) while we're here.

But our apartment is also small and cramped. It's not easy to host people. It's hard on the boys to not have much room to move around in. We don't really have a yard or a garden. It's tiring to have to keep getting quarters to do laundry with and not having loads fully dry.

Having a home means additional expenses: maintenance, utilities, taxes, insurance, etc. And plenty of questions about whether or not we can really afford it all. It also will mean we have space and a garden and an investment.

Neighbors don't tend to invest in people who live in apartments. Homes seem to be better for developing relationships.

So there are a lot of thoughts and emotions going on right now. We're looking to sign a purchase agreement this week (partly to help with getting some more grants to lower the price on the place and to get in on some tax incentives). So, prayers are appreciated for the decisions in the weeks ahead (and that they'll be able to find enough grants and such that will bring the cost down to be affordable).

First Communion

I remember the first time I took communion. I was at an Evangelical Free Church winter retreat at Twin Lakes Bible Camp. I was in Junior High. I was supposed to have gone to camp a week or so before with my church (it was our home camp), but the weather was bad and camp was canceled. So I ended up going with the Free Church where I went to youth group. On Sunday morning they had communion, and I felt ready to participate. I'm not sure why I did it then and not before, but I guess I was ready to make the decision to do it.

Anders took communion today at church for the first time. It was a little unplanned (mainly because I was forgetting it was happening today). He had commented to Beth a few weeks ago that he would like to partake of communion sometime. She talked with him about it--he knew what it meant and why we did it--and asked if he had accepted Jesus' forgiveness and decided to follow Him--he said he had prayed that at some point. He knows Jesus is God's Son who came to earth to show us God's way of love and died on the cross so that our sins might be forgiven and we might live with God. He gets that. At least as best as a five-year old can--which I think is as good as any of us can.

So when it was time today, he asked if he could do it. We briefly talked about what the bread and the juice meant. Our church is fairly big, so they get the pre-wafers and we dip them in a chalice with the juice (his assessment afterward was that it was "crunchy."

In some churches the first communion is a big deal. In some, it's not noticed at all. It all kind of just happened (I almost hesitated doing it because Beth was in a Sunday School room prepping for the lesson, so she wasn't there with us). But we've talked about it, and he gets it, and we pray for him and his spiritual journey ahead. Sometimes things with faith just happen. I'm not sure Anders has a specific day when any of us can say he was "saved." He just has grown up hearing about Jesus and His love for us. He's always known he answers and the stories. He gets it. And, no, he's not perfect--he's got a lot of growth ahead of him. But so do I. Salvation isn't an instant transformation but a daily decision to be renewed in Christ. It's a blessing to see that he's making those decisions already.

Mr. Three-Year Old

Three years ago this morning we drove through the first snow of the season to the hospital in Lake City, Iowa, so that Nils could make his way into the world. Cindy Freeberg stayed with Anders at our house when we left, and Lisa Aljets came later to bring Anders to the hospital to meet his new brother. Beth's mom came as well. Anders brought a present for his new brother (a little bear) and Nils had one for his big brother (a John Deere tractor). And Beth and I began to learn how to raise two boys instead of just one.

Since then Nils has lived in a farm house near Pomeroy, Iowa, a town house in South Surrey, British Columbia, and an apartment in St. Louis Park, Minnesota. Nils has lived by corn fields, oceans, mountains and lakes. And of coursek we've seen a lot of growth in Nils.

Nils likes to ride his bike, play with trainsets and race cars. Nils has learned his alphabet and can count well past twenty. At times he can sit and look at a book for a long time. Nils LOVES to climb and jump. No sofa is safe. He loves to run, skip and turn summersalts (even uphill). Nils loves to get into whatever he can, take things apart, dump things out and make messes in general. Nils can bring huge amounts of frustration and joy at the same time. He's got a face that makes it impossible to be upset with him. He's got a lot of determination. And he's the best 3-year old hip hop dancer I've ever seen. He marches to his own drumbeat. And I love him--and thank God for the last three years that he's been a part of our lives.

Off to Kindergarten

Anders started off to school today--first day of Kindergarten. He was ready. He didn't even balk when the bus pulled up--he just climbed right on board. It looked like he even found someone to share a seat.

Nils was ready for it, too. He headed out with his backpack and a smile on his face. He knows he's going to "Pappa's School" this year (we call it Pappa's School of Hard Knocks--I guess that would be P-SOHK). He was disappointed that he didn't get to ride a bus to his school today and that his school was just the old desk in the corner of his bedroom. But he did get a field trip--to the grocery store.

Everyone had been asking us how we'll handle sending our first-born off to school. It really wasn't too big of a deal (though it may have been if we had given ourselves time to reflect on it this morning--especially about how time is flying by so quickly). The only tears shed were from Nils. And that was more about the fact that he had to stay home rather than Anders leaving. I think it's going to be hardest on him, not having his big brother around in the mornings. At least for a while. I think it's also going to make my job harder only having Nils around now, since he'll be more in demand of my attention. He was talking nonstop the whole time in the car this morning as we were going to get groceries and run errands.

Anders is ready for school, though. I know some people understandably have a hard time sending their kids off to school. Some don't even do it, opting to home school, simply because they're afraid of their kids getting tainted. And that is a concern of ours--the things Anders will pick up from the older kids on the bus (thankfully it's only K-3rd grade).

But as Pastor Efrem pointed out last Sunday, if we're investing in our children as parents and being good stewards with them, we have nothing to fear. Efrem said, "Why does peer pressure always have to be negative--that we're afraid of what the world is going to do to our kids? No. The world needs to be afraid of what our kids are going to do to them. That's positive peer pressure."

I guess that's an added benefit of being a stay-at-home parent as well (the pay sucks, but there are some benefits): I get to train my children up in the way they should go so that I don't have to worry about them when they're off on their own. There are still plenty of lessons to learn, but he'll do fine. He'll succeed. And he'll have us there to cheer him on the whole way.

Funeral for a Turtle

Just over a couple of months ago, our boys were given a tiny painted turtle (at the time, they thought it was a mud turtle, so the boys named it Muddy) by a friend of ours. We had no intention of keeping it, really. We don't have room for a pet. But we quickly grew attached to it and Muddy became a fixture around our apartment.

This morning, I discovered Muddy wasn't moving in the water (don't worry, I didn't even attempt mouth-to-mouth). He had been a bit lethargic lately, so we wondered if he was getting something. We had just discussed releasing him into the lake at the nature center so he could have the freedom he needs (but we weren't entirely ready to see him go). So it was a sad day. Anders cried off and on through most of the morning.

We had a burial after lunch. I've never cried so much for a turtle--though it wasn't so much for the turtle as it was for my son. It was hard to see death through his eyes. There were some points of remembering my grandfather's and my father-in-law's funerals. So we talked a bit here and there about life & death and being sad and missing people.

And so we laid Muddy to rest. I dug a hole in the grass behind the apartment building. Anders picked a stick to mark the grave. The boys said goodbye to Muddy (like they're going to see him again tomorrow--I don't think they grasp the finality of death--or maybe they just know there's more life to come). We said a prayer (Anders prayed that Muddy would get better). Then I covered up the hole, and we said good-bye one last time. Anders cried for a while more, but seems to have moved on--just as life goes on.

RIP Muddy.

End of the Season

Last night was Anders' last practice & game of the season. It was good. We enjoyed getting to know some other parents well (and the fact that the commitment was only for six Thursdays for only an hour). Anders enjoyed being on a team. He learned a bit, I think, but we're not signing him up for the Olympics yet. First we need to work on: staying a little more focused on the game and not on playing on the sidelines, not slapping his coach on the butt, and not laying down in the goal during a game.

Coach Emily & most of the teamAnders with his soccer medal

Anders and his friend Sophie, enjoying a post-game push-up.

Anniversary Weekend

We had a wonderful anniversary weekend. Even with little discretionary spending money, we were able to have a great time. My sister & her husband watched the boys on Saturday night after Beth got home from work. We went out for supper at a restaurant with candles on the table instead of ketchup bottles. Sadly, aside from the sweet potato fries, the meal was unimaginative, at best. Still, the view was good (of my wife sitting across from me) as well as the conversation.

We looked into attending the theater, but couldn't find anything we were overly excited about for the price of the tickets, so we ended up at ComedySportz. We haven't laughed that much in a long time (and it was very clean). A highly recommended outing.

After church and a nap for Beth yesterday, we headed down to Lake Harriet. The boys enjoyed some time in the water--which needs a few more days of sun before Beth and I can fully enjoy it. We spent a little time in Lyndale Park walking through the gardens. Then we headed back to the band shell for a picnic and the evening concert by the Minneapolis Police Concert Band. Even with the kids with us, we can still have a romantic outing. Really. We had a great time. And a wife I love by my side to boot!

Twelve Years Later

Twelve years ago today, my bride said "I do" when Pastor Al asked her if she would take me as her husband. We vowed to make a future with each other in it; we vowed to be with each other no matter what came our way. We were young then. We knew little about real love (we still have a lot to learn). But God has been gracious with us. He's been gracious with me--giving me a very forgiving wife. We've learned that love is a commitment (not a feeling), but also a way of life. Love is learning more about your spouse each day, about their needs, about how to serve them better, about their fears, hopes and dreams. We've had our rough times--sometimes it feels like we've had more of those than times of prosperity--but through it all I would always say "I do" to my wife. God put her in my life to help me become who He created me to be (along with other people--the burden isn't Beth's alone). And I look forward to what lies ahead for us. Whatever comes my way, I am positive that I can get through it with Beth at my side (and with God's grace, of course). I love you, Beth Wenell.

Growing Up

Yesterday morning I got to watch my niece, who is now two months old, as my sister returned to work for the first time. It was a treat--as well as a new adventure. I haven't watched a baby (especially a girl!) by myself for a while--and definitely not with two other boys to take care of. She slept the majority of the time. Which was good, except she wouldn't sleep on the bed, only on my shoulder. So I re-learned doing chores around the house with just one hand. The boys were good helpers. And they love their cousin.

Last night I went to a Kindergarten information meeting. It's different for us being in a large city where we have a choice as to which school we send Anders to. The one that we're in the district for seems really good--we're also going to look out the city's Spanish immersion school. It's hard to believe we'll have a kid in school already. But he's ready for it. He's reading and writing some words already. And he'll love being with other kids.

Nils had apparently found the right buttons on the camera. I found this picture on it last night. That's our Nils.

Happy Birthday, Nils

Nils turned 2 today. It's hard to believe he's been with us for two years. And sometimes it feels like it's been a lot longer. One of our many affectionate names for Nils is Stinker Monkey (an offshoot of the Canadian/British Cheeky Monkey). He can be the biggest stinker at times (as evidenced in the picture--I discovered he had gotten into the flour I had left out from kneading dough). Yet, he's extremely cute and (almost) innocent at the same time.

He's our adventurer. He loves to get into things, take things apart, find out what happens when you mix two things, etc. Somehow his only hospitalization thus far has been for the extraction of a chipped tooth. His angels have been on double-duty to keep him safe.

Right now he's very independent. He wants to do everything himself: open doors, get in the car seat, put on his clothes, etc. He's even potty-trained himself in the last few days (sort of--there's a few kinks to work out yet, but he's doing very well). He's not afraid to walk off by himself without either of his parents around. He's also much harder to discipline. It takes a while for bad habits to be broken.

In many ways, he's nothing like his brother. In other ways, he's exactly like him. At night when we do our bedtime routine, Nils asks for a song when he's in bed. Usually "Jesus Loves Me This I Know"; sometimes "Trygarre Kan Ingen Vara." It has to be sung at the right speed so that he can sing along, too (it's cute to hear him try and sing in Swedish)--if I try and rush it, he makes me slow down. Afterwards, he's been responding with "I love you." And it's not just repeating the phrase back. You can tell he means it.

Despite the frustration he can sometimes bring, Nils is a joy. I love him dearly. He helps keep me in check with how I'm acting. I can't wait to see the man he'll grow into some day . . . but not too soon.

My Little Angels

This is Anders' picture from Sunday School last week. He's a great colorer, but I most love the fact that his people aren't just white in his pictures. It helps that only a handful of kids in his class are white. The Kingdom of Heaven will be like that. I'm glad he sees it already.

Nils has started saying his own prayers lately. He's actually started in pretty much the same way that Anders did: by looking around and thanking God for what he sees (plus he usually remembers MorMor, FarFar, FarMor, Aunt Amy, Bella, Uncle Wilder, Aunt April and Baby Riley). It's a good reminder for me to be grateful of all that is around me.

Right now, I wish they were the angels that they sound like at times. I hate having to discipline them during bedtime. Nils has been asserting his independence lately. Everything he does, he has to do it by himself. If I've already opened the door, he has to have it shut so he can open it by himself. He spends eighteen minutes in the bathroom washing his hands (playing in the water, mostly--today I found him sitting in the sink). It's good for him to learn to do things, but it gets frustrating when we're trying to get somewhere and he has to open the car door himself (which he can't do), climb in by himself and get in his seat by himself--which doesn't help the time crunch. They're helping me really develop my patience more. And I love them completely.

He's 4!

Anders wouldn't actually call himself 4 years old until today. But today it's all different. He's 4. And it's cool. He's grown so much and is able to do so many things now. I'm excited to see what's to come in the year ahead. Most excitingly, he's very much into God--talking about Him, singing about Him, reading about Him and talking to Him, too. God has been good. I pray His blessing upon Anders as he grows in stature and wisdom, becoming the man God has called him to be.

Bedtime

Beth pulled out some of the summer clothes today. They both put on shorts and Anders tried on his sandals--but found out that they weren't great with the pea gravel at the playground.

Anders got to wear his short pajamas to bed. Nils did get on some pajamas (the picture is just Nils in his element--swinging under the bed with few clothes on). Bedtime was a little longer because we were waiting for the arrival of MorMor. We've had quite a few visitors to the house in the last couple weeks.

After MorMor arrived and the boys got some hugs and Anders talked with her for a while, we put them down for the night. Nils usually gets "Jesus Loves Me" sung to him. After we left, Anders called out for a song for him. He wanted Beth to sing, but he decided it would be okay for me to sing to him. I sung "Trygarre Kan Ingen Vara" (the original Swedish of "Children of the Heavenly Father"). He sung along with me tonight (as well as he could figure out some of the Swedish words). It was precious, to say the least.

There's also those moments when he prays . . . not just his usual mealtime prayer, but times when he randomly sits down and just starts praying about something.
That's "faith like a child" for you. Sometimes I'm a bit jealous of it. I guess it's something for me to grow into.

Monkey Walk

I tried to get some pictures of Nils walking this morning. The problem was he was too quick for the flash--he would get to me (and not be in focus--or fit in the lens anymore) before the flash would go off. He's still keeping his arms up in the air--the pictures don't do justice; he really looks like a monkey--especially with the wider leg stance because of the diaper between his legs. You may be able to spot some of his bumps, bruises and scars on his face from walking tumbles. He also really loves his brother and will try to be with him as much as possible,mimicking as much as possible (we're encouraging him not to pick up tantrums and such).