How to Eat Humble Pie

At church we talked about humility as part of the Rule of Benedict in chapter 7 (and humility, of course, comes from the Bible in many parts of Scripture). I used to think I was pretty good at being humble (which is the first sign that I'm not really humble). I don't tend to think of myself as better than others; sometimes I can revel in my lowly status (second sign of not being humble).

One of my pet peeves is self-centered drivers. You know the ones: they zoom down the side of the road to get up to the front of the line when everyone else is patiently merging for the construction zone, they'll speed around you on the street only to turn at the next corner, they won't use their blinker or stop fully at stop signs or even stop at all on a red light. I get irritated by people who are clearly only thinking of themselves when they are on the road.

Of course, I've realized, I'm only irritated because those people often inconvenience me.

And as I get older, I realize that most all of the problems I create in life I do so because I'm being selfish. I'm focused on myself and my own desires rather than thinking about others or who my actions might impact.

The final twelfth step of the downward-climbing ladder of humility according to St. Benedict is "reached when a [person] shows humility in his heart and in his appearance and actions" (RB 7.145).

One might think that humility, like meekness, is weak--that it means letting people walk all over you. This is untrue. Christ calls us to love others as we love ourselves. We can't love others unless we're taking care of our own needs.

For example, I'm learning to be better about disciplining students at school. My tendency has always been to let some things slide. I'll crack down when it's serious, but I tend to turn a blind eye before that point because I don't want students to think of me as one of those "mean" staff people. Of course by not disciplining--by not correcting improper actions--I'm only thinking of myself. I don't want them not to like me. But the action that is helpful for everyone--including the misbehaving student--is to address the issues that are occurring. Humility means knowing my place. And when I'm a parent or working at school, that means I have the responsibility to correct students' misbehavior. When someone else in authority addresses me, it is my place to listen to them.

My ego gets in the way of God's will. I still turn to it way too often, but it does me no good. So, like most things, I've got a way to go. Maybe knowing that is one of the first steps to humility. (Though Benedict would say that the first step is "taken when a man obeys all of God’s commandments–never ignoring them, and fearing God in his heart" (RB 7.131).)

Letting Go

There is an old story (sometimes thought to be from Aesop, but at least coming from 1st century Greek philosopher Epictetus) about a boy who puts his hand in a pitcher of figs and filberts, grabbing so many that he cannot pull his hand out. We all know the moral of the story--that he has to let go in order to free his hand.

Jesus talks about something similar a few decades earlier when He encountered a man with much wealth. The man falls at Jesus feet, wanting to inherit (or get) eternal life. He has kept all the commandments. Clearly, he is a good person, has done the right things, and can humbly come before Jesus. Jesus, with much love for the man the text tells us, tells him the other thing he must do to inherit eternal life is to give away all his possessions. The man leaves, dejected.

Hearing it in church, made me thing that today the story might go like this:

A wealthy business CEO (like Tony Stark--someone who does good things, is smart, and inherited the company fortune from his father) comes before Jesus. "Jesus, I'd like to gain eternal life. What can I do to get that?"

"Remember all those things your parents and Sunday school teachers told you to do? Do them."

"I have. I've run my business honestly. I've been faithful to my spouse. I've never hurt anyone. Trust me, Jesus, I'm a good person. I'd be a great fit for Heaven."

"Alright then," Jesus replies, "then you only need to get rid of all your possessions and wealth so that you can help those who have none."

"Oh, but I give to charity already."

"I mean get rid of it all. You're holding on to it too tightly." The man leaves, glumly.


Then Jesus turns to the middle-class house wife next to Him.

"How about you? Do you desire eternal life as well?"

"Yes, of course. And don't worry about me...I don't have many possessions. We have little in our bank account. We still manage to tithe ever Sunday."

"Good. Then you just need to let go of your judgmentalism, your envy, your emotional insecurity, and your desires for your children's future." She walks away, sullen.


Then He turns to me.

"And you...you need to let go of your fears, your hurt, your pride, your isolation, your intellectualism, your compulsions, your..."


Pastor Jan noted in tonight's sermon that we have to release in order to gain. We dispossess to possess.

We don't "inherit eternal life" or "get into Heaven." We can't do anything to merit it. And, in many ways, it's not the goal. We follow Jesus. We enter into a relationship with God. The Kingdom of Heaven is here...and not yet. But it isn't for those who are holding onto things. We have to come with empty hands to Jesus...or at least bring those things we need to give to Him. I don't necessarily like this idea. I find much comfort in some of the things I hang onto, but I can only call Jesus "Lord" if I have let go of those things and let Him have all of me.

The Swing of Things

We're trying to get into the swing of things at our house--developing our new schedule this fall. This is the first time since having children that both my wife and I are working outside the home full-time. She's doing research and classes on her way to getting a doctorate; I'm working at the boys' school as a classroom assistant. I worked last year, but mostly substitute teaching. I could take a day off work each week to fit in appointments, run errands, and do things around the house.  That can't happen now.

It's an adjustment. I get up, get the boys ready, and the three of us head out the door together (most days...Beth is sometimes gone by then, sometimes not, and sometimes she gets them on the bus so I can get in an early appointment if necessary). I work at school all day, and then bring the boys home where it's time to figure out something for supper. There's usually laundry to do, dishes to wash, floors to vacuum, etc., as well as spending time with the boys in a more meaningful way than just driving them to school. Then there's getting in the time to work on some personal things, time to build our marriage relationship, time to do something relaxing and enjoyable for myself...

I know I'm experiencing nothing that most people haven't already experienced. Can we just take a moment to acknowledge how tiring it is to have two working spouses in the home? Because it's quite tiring. Being a full-time parent is tiring. Raising children and maintaining a household on top of working outside the home all day just compounds it.

And frankly, I don't want to spend every part of my weekend getting caught up around the house. I want to have some enjoyable time with the family. I want to get out and enjoy the fresh air. I want to participate in community events or spend time with friends. And then have time to just Sabbath like God desires for us.

The first day of school (for the 5-year old--the 8-year old and I started the day before)

So I fully acknowledge that some sacrifices will have to be made. I won't be able to fit in all my plans or desires for the sake of keeping the household happy and sane. And maybe there are days when chores just get ignored for the sake of keeping all of us happy and sane.

We're still figuring it all out. But I'm already learning little of it matters if I get too busy to remember that God is present throughout it. Otherwise, I'm just letting faith become religion where I try and meet God on Sundays and during occasional prayer times.

His desire is for a relationship with me. He's present throughout the day. I'm working on grasping that fact in the midst of having five students ask for help at the same time or trying to a child on the autism spectrum back from his "emotional time" or figuring out what to make for supper while putting laundry in the wash. I'll get there...I know God's not going anywhere, and if He desires for a relationship with me, and I desire the same, I'm certain things will come together.

Fall Family Time

Yesterday morning we packed up the car, met up with friends, and drove up to Wild River State Park to enjoy the weekend. It was beautiful weather--we never put the rain fly on (though we were tempted to for keeping in the heat in the tent over night, but we all stayed warm enough, I think). After getting the last two non-electric sites available (I really hate how camping has become a reservation-needed system), we set up camp, and the we headed to the Franconia Sculpture Garden. I appreciate that the artist create interactive works--and many that the kids can climb on.

Due to taking a relaxed pace with the afternoon, we ran out of time to climb on the rocks at Glacier Gardens in nearby Interstate Park (which the boys were wanting to do) or enjoy a hearty hike back at Wild River (which I would have enjoyed). But we made supper and then partook in a naturalist's talk on owls. Of course there was some marshmallow-roasting at our campfire that night along with a little star gazing.

Today we went the the Amador Apple Festival in the small town of Almelund, Minnesota (where we recently had the serendipitous discovery of a street named Wenell Lane). It was a nice small-town, community-oriented festival: food vendors (Swedish sausage on a stick, tacos in a bag, etc.), hand-made crafts, produce, and an assortment of apple-based products for sale. They were several historical buildings on site with displays as well as hands-on opportunities to live the past (making butter from cream, twisting twin into rope, harvesting prairie seeds). Old silent movies flickered on a wall in the barn; you could wait in line for a ride in a Model T as well. The boy got to try their first carmel apples (somehow they'd missed out on those--we've had apples with carmel dip, but not carmel apples).

It wouldn't have much mattered what we did. We had planned to have the weekend together as a family. It's beautiful fall weather, and while the trees haven't started turning much, we wanted to be outside for most of it. For us that means camping--or at least I personally like it when it means camping. It is good for our boys to be outside, to be active, to be with family and friends, and to be in God's presence. He is everywhere, but for me at least, He is much more noticeable outside. And I admit that I don't always take the time to note His presence, but I know that He and His creation leave their mark on my soul when I have been their presence. I hope that happens with my children as well.

The Power of Humility

God created the world out of nothing, and as long as we are nothing, He can make something out of us.
     - Martin Luther

For Eyes to See

All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.
     -Ralph Waldo Emerson

A Day Trip

 With all of us back to school in one capacity or another last week, we didn't get our lives planned enough to go camping, which would be how I'd like to spend a three-day weekend at the end of summer. So we planned for a day trip instead. And all-in-all, it was a wonderful day.

It was later morning by the time we got all the food together and some things done around the house. Our destination was Wild River State Park--just over an hour'd drive northeast on the St. Croix River. On our way we made a brief stop in the tiny little town of Almelund where we chanced to see a street that shared our last name (so we stopped to take a picture of course). They was a quaint little mercantile store that advertised Scandinavian pottery, so we stopped so my wife could peruse. It was mainly an antique store with a lot of Scandinavian items, along with a cafe nook, and a small grocery section. The owners we quite friendly and proud of their little town and its events.


After we arrived just down the road at the state park, we got out our cooler and had a picnic lunch. There were a number of programs going on at the park that day. We thought we'd try one on wild mushrooms. Unfortunately the presenter didn't have the right adapters to get her presentation to run on the park's computer and projector, and I think she got a bit flustered after that. She rambled quite a bit, and while she had some decent information in there, it wasn't enough to hold us captive (plus, we expected we'd be hiking and actually finding mushrooms). So we snuck out early and went for a hike. The hike was our main objective for the day--hoping to acclimate the boys to doing more hiking, hoping we could eventually do some backpacking. It wasn't overly long (just over 2 miles total) or strenuous; we enjoyed a walk along the St. Croix River. We stopped at a sandy beach near the end of the first trail for a snack, and the boys played in the river.

After we returned to our vehicle we headed down the road to Taylors Falls to find some supper. We ended up at an old-fashioned drive-in. The kids' meals included a coupon for 2-for-1 at the adjacent mini golf course, so the boys played a round. It took them a little while to get into the swing of things, but they enjoyed it, and each ended up with a hole-in-one (which they were quite thrilled about).

It was getting a little late in the day by that point, but we had thought about stopping at the Franconia Sculpture Park on our way home, but on our way out of Taylors Falls we saw a sign for a Glacial Garden, which we didn't remember seeing on our previous trips through town, so we drove in that direction to check it out. It was a part of Interstate Park right before the bridge to Wisconsin. The boys loved it--it was a trail through a rocky area with glacial potholes and other formations carved out from an ancient river bed. They kept asking today if we could go back so they could do some more climbing. While we won't be making that drive this weekend, we do hope to head back again soon for some fall camping in that area. 

On our way home we stopped so my wife could get a picture of the bright orange, nearly-full moon that was rising on the horizon. Our main--make that only--expense of the day (other than gas) was supper and mini-golf. An inexpensive day, but a great way to spend a Saturday in September--and I think a few memories were made along the way.

End of Summer

I started back to work at school over a week ago now. The boys start this coming week. Though the calendar says otherwise, summer is about over.

I wanted to make the most of it this weekend. Even though it was a tiring week, and Friday was a long day, we decided to picnic and take in a concert at Lake Harriet. It's probably the last of the summer for us. The boys wanted to swim in the lake before the concert started (I waded out, but I'm afraid I'm a wimp in cold lake water).

The music was by S. Carey. If I knew much about the music scene these days I would have known that he's the drummer and back-up vocalist for Bon Iver. It was a good concert. Afterward they were showing Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? I know it's not a "family-friendly" movie, but we stayed for part of it, and the boys were really enjoying the humor in it. It was a beautiful evening, too. Great weather, few bugs, a starry night. Perfect.

I managed to score a pass to the Minnesota Zoo yesterday at the library. The boys had been wanting to go all summer. I hadn't seen a pass there in the last couple of months (and the museum pass program ends next week, which we're super sad about, but thankful we got to participate in it). Even with two free admissions, it cost us $30 just to get in. There was some special dinosaur exhibit the boys had also been wanting to see there. It turned out that it was an extra fee, so we unfortuantely didn't get to see it. I think we'll be doing our zoo trips to good old free Como Park Zoo from here on out. It was a rainy day, but the boys enjoyed getting to see all the animals.

But gone are the days of putting the boys on their bikes for a little trip, or visiting a museum, or going swimming, or...well, doing anything during the week except school. I'm still hoping to get in some weekend camping yet. But I'm going to miss summer. There was so much I intended to do.

Yet, I'm also going to enjoy autumn. We get back to having a schedule, and the boys are in bed earlier. Good sleeping weather and colorful trees are on their way.  I guess with any changing of the season, there is pleanty to miss and plenty to look forward toward.

Anders has the same feelings on his birthdays. He looks forward to all the things he gets to do as he grows older, but he also misses the things that were only options when he was younger.

Time marches on, the cycles continue in their own rhythms despite our prodding or reluctance.We have little choice in the changing of the seasons or the passage of time, excpet to use it wisely. Cherish the moments. Find things to be thankful for each day. Work hard, and enjoy life.

So, good-bye summer. Hello 2012 school  year. It's going to be quite the journey.

Wild Peace

One last poem I wrote while in the Boundary Waters.




There is peace.

The only sounds are from birds, insects, the wind, and the water.
Any other noise, we have made ourselves.
I read that peace is not just the absence of conflict
But the absence of injustice as well.

I wonder if there is injustice here...
Certainly not everyone "leaves no trace"
As is evident by remnants we discover at our campsite.
But most people here respect the wilderness.

And the wilderness does what it is supposed to:
The eagle swoops and catches its prey;
The moss breaks down the decaying birch branches;
The loons swim, dive, and call to one another;
The chipmunk scampers, gathering hazelnuts.

And maybe that is why there is peace:
Because all creation does what God created it to do.

A Look at a Canoe Trip

We just returned yesterday from four days in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness in northern Minnesota. We went with two other couples (one of whom we had never met before, but that's another story). It was the first time my wife and I had been in the Boundary Waters together--at least for more than a day trip. I'm thankful she initiated making arrangements for us to go.

Here's what a canoe trip looks like:

Beginning a portage

Paddle, paddle, paddle. The lake we camped on was around 5 miles long. It's not the largest by any means. I have no idea how much we paddled each day. One day we just explored the lake we were on so we did about a 10 mile trip.

Carry everything on your shoulders. To get from lake to lake, you portage. First you carry your canoe. Then you go back for your packs. Distances are measured in rods. One rod is the average canoe length: 16.5 feet. Our longest portage was 147 rods: about a half mile. But a portage is seldom flat terrain. Often you go up, then down, then up, and then down again. Possibly several more times. And there are usually pointy rocks dotting the trail. And tree roots. None of this makes carrying a canoe on your shoulders easy. Also, because of rains the previous day, the path of the long portage became a small stream--which somehow managed to flow down the front side of the hill as we climbed up it as well as down the backside as we made our way to the next lake.

Set up camp. We stayed in one place for all three nights. My last trip we kept moving. It's nice to not have to move. We were able to explore neighboring lakes and only have to portage with canoes and a food pack, which is nice.

Your toilet is in the middle of the woods. With no walls around. Just a tube, sticking up out of the ground. Ours happened to be a decent hike up a hill from our campsite. Of course, a toilet is not always needed...

Your food must be hung up in a tree every night...preferably between two trees, at least 12 feet off the ground. You do what you can to make it inaccessible to bears.

Your food is all camped over a fire (typically on a small camp stove). And all of your food you have to carry in on your back. Any campfires you desire must be made from dead wood you have found on the forest floor and brought back.

If you want to bathe, you jump in a lake. Many lakes are deep (over 100 feet). And almost all are quite cold. You may find a few spots of warm water near the shore, but generally the lakes don't get much above 60 degrees.

Our "bathroom"

Nature is your best friend--and your worst enemy. It happened to be our best friend on this trip. We hardly had any bug issues--which is rare. Normally flies and mosquitoes are a campers' bane in the North Woods. I didn't put any insect repellent on, and didn't need to. We had perfect weather--in the 70s most days, cooler at night. No rain until  the last morning when we had a few brief sprinkles. We were all hoping for the excitement of seeing a moose or a bear or some large mammal. Moose scat is the closest we got. But there were plenty of loons and several eagles. And of course wildflowers, birch trees, and evergreens galore. One of the nights was the peak of the Perseids. We laid out on one of the large boulders along the shore and star-gazed. None of us stayed up long enough to see the meteors in mass, but we saw several before turning in for the night.

It's wonderful stuff, this canoeing in the Boundary Waters. We're figuring out how to functionally be able to go with our children next time. It's feasible--it just requires some adjusting.

It is, for the most part, roughing it. I know that's not for everyone. But it is a beautiful place. Canoeing is good for the body and soul. And you will find few places as peaceful (unless there's a storm, but we didn't encounter that, so we're good).
s.