Graduation in the Time of Covid

My nephew graduated this year. He's from a school outside of Des Moines, Iowa--a rural school, but not as small as a lot of them. He missed a chunk of the rites of passage: prom, senior awards night, and just having time to finish out with your friends. I'm sure it was a disappointing senior year. 

Thankfully, he got to graduate. Although, that of course looked different. It was about a month later than it would have been. They intended to have all the graduates on distanced chairs on the football field with immediate family only in the bleachers. Instead, the threat of unfavorable weather moved them indoors. They graduated in three groups alphabetically by last name. He was in the last group, and had to sit around waiting the whole time while the first two groups graduated. 

Since only his parents and siblings could attend, we watched at my sisters house from the live Facebook feed. There weren't a lot of masks in the audience (currently, Iowa and South Dakota are the only two states not to have any mask regulations). The chairs were spread out in the gym. The diplomas weren't handed to the students but pushed across the table to them. And oddly, they left the gym to the song Ice, Ice, Baby. 

So he got the graduation experience (althouh many of his friends were in the other two groups, so they didn't get to do it together). My brother and his wife had an open house for him. Precautions were taken for serving the food. People tended to spread out a little more to eat. But otherwise, it probably didn't look too much different than it would have.

He just went off to college this week at ISU. It sounds like masks are required just about everywhere on campus. His roommate wasn't supposed to arrive until a few days after him. All of his big lecture hall classes will be online and the smaller classes will meet in the big lecture halls. 

Vacationing In the Time of Covid

In early July we went to the resort in northern Minnesota where my wife has gone since she was young. Things were different this year, of course. Our stay was a day less as the staff needed more time to clean and disinfect. The lodge was closed for hanging out in. The swimming pool had a 20 person occupancy limit. Boat paddles, oars and life jackets were supposed to be dipped in the pool after use so the chlorine would kill of germs, bacteria and viruses. A lot of activities were changed or done away with. Bingo night happned, albeit on the lawn spread out more than usual. The mini golf contest was coordinated so everyone started ten minutes after the previous person. There were no staff versus guest games. Bingo night happned, albeit on the lawn spread out more than usual. The mini golf contest was coordinated so everyone started ten minutes after the previous person. 

Still, it was a good time. We got to relax by the pool and swim in the lake. The kids got to fish with grandpa, and I got to read in my hammock. They played tennis and built sand castles for the contest (though the sand castles were spread out between the beach and the volleyball courts). They swam a lot (it was a nice, hot week). We relaxed, had fun, and had time together. Which though it was different from previous years, still made for a successful vacation.

Re-opening during Covid-19

Some of the state restrictions are lightening up a little. Last week we went to a restaurant and ate on their patio. There were about four other couples/families on the patio as well. The nearest to us was about ten feet away, and they weren't there for long. It was nice to be able to be somewhere other than our house or a park (not that eating outside at a park isn't beautiful this time of year).

I got my haircut a few days ago. I have an appointment to renew my expired driver's license tomorow, so I wanted it done before then. I had to check in online, which is routine. But when I got to Great Clips I had to wait outside the door. One of the stylists came and checked me in as well as the teenager who was also outside waiting. The lobb was closed, but they were ready for me, so I was able to walk right in and not have to wait. I had to wear my face mask the whole time--which isn't easy during a haircut.

My step-daughter started tennis camp today (just two hours every morning). Everything else for the summer has been cancelled--a week at Bible camp, the youth group trip to the boundary waters, music camps.

We're far from over with the pandemic. It's nice to have a little access to some "normalcy" again, but I know it's going to be a long road as we try and keep everyone safe.

A City (and Nation and World) at Unrest

Race Relations during Covid 19

Today I have to ask my children if they feel safe going to their mom's house tonight. She lives in North Minneapolis (where I used to live). It is not the epicenter of the events surounding the murder of George Floyd, but all of the stores along a street just blocks away from her house were vandalized last night. Everything in the residential neighborhood around their house is untouched, but the photos of the businesses nearby show a lot of broken windows and two buildings that look destoyed.

Yesterday the mall and Target stores near us shut down out of fear for their employees.

Yesterday another person died.

Yesterday small business owners who are struggling already from being closed from the pandemic suffered more loss.

Yesterday buildings burned to the ground.

All of this is because of the murder of George Floyd. Yet another unarmed black man killed by the police. Now, I have several good friends who are in law enforcement. I don't doubt they are men and women who would do the right thing. Most of the law enforcent out there likely would. It just takes a few bad ones to make everything look bad. And it's not the police ultimately at fault here. They're on the front page because they have power and auhority. But this is a societal issue. Racism is still rampant. And it's only been getting uglier.

I'm not even sure what to say. As a white man I don't feel I can say much a all. But it has to stop. I fear for my niece's husband and children. I fear for good friends and their children who don't feel they can go for a walk alone. Or drive a car. Or do much of anything without having to constantly check their surroundings in fear.

I don't get what happened. Why a man died that way. Why he died at all...

I don't get why the other three officers just stood by and didn't intervene. Especially officers who are sworn to protect and serve. Officers who are first responders and are to first take care of a person's safety...

Why no one else intervened...

And would I have done something if I was walking by and saw a man been held down, unable to breathe? I'd like to think so, but in the face of an authority figure with weapons, I'm not sure...

We have to do better. We have to love better. We have to. For the sake of my family. My friends. Our children.

A Trip Home during Covid 19

My sons and I drove down to Iowa for 5 days last week to visit my parents. It was partly for our mental health, partly for my mom's mental health (plus it had just been mother's day), and partly because my 101-year old grandmother wasn't doing very well.

The boys still had their school work to do while we were there, so that was most of their days before the weekend. But they took some time on a sunny day to help grandpa pick some aspargus in the ditches. And splitting firewood. There was also some hammock time, time building forts are exploring the farm, a little hiking, and driving around the countryside.

My parents' church has been having church in the parking lot. The pastor and musicians broadcast over a radio on an FM signal from the entrance to the church while the congregants are in their parked cars. I was a different experience. It was rainy so it was hard to see others in their cars. But it was nice to know people were nearby and not be on a computer to worship.

It was good for all of us. It decreased the stress of all of us being in the house. My mom needed some family around--especially in the midst of dealing with dealing with her mom's failing health and planning a funeral (grandma is still alive, but she's 101, so it's also good to have some of that planning done). It was good to be on the farm with fresh air and starry skies.

Birthdays in the time of Covid 19

Good friends of our have children with birthdays today and tomorrow. Today their oldest turned eight. Tomorrow their second-born turns four. Birthday parties are an important part of kids' lives at these ages. But they aren't able to get together with their friends, or even their grandparents, aunts, uncles, counsins, etc.

But they can still happen--just not in a normal style. Our friends put out a message on facebook for people (mostly from church as they didn't have contact info for all the classmates) to drive by between noon and two and give a birthday greeting. We walked over since they're in the neighborhood. We took some happy birthday banners and a couple of cards we made. The family was in their front yard. They had a sign out front for the birthdays. There was plenty of sidewalk chalk decorating the driveway.

A few other families were parked in front of their house. We waved to each other. At one point we all sang happy birthday. While we were standing there I saw a police car drive by on the side street. A few seconds later it came back. My first thought was that we were in trouble for all being out, though we were all over six feet apart (outside individual family units of course). The lights came on the squad car, but then we heard, "Happy birthday!"

A little while later my wife and I left to continue on our afternoon walk (the kids had biked home on their own). Just a block away I noticed a police car heading toward us with another one after it. And another one. By the time I saw the third one, I figured the first guy had called in and gotten a few other officers in the area to come by to wish a happy birthday to our friends. But it wasn't three cars coming by to give their well wishes. It was seven. The lights went on and we heard their bullhorn saying happy birthday to them. I admit, the tears welled up a little at the outreach of the law enforcement.

And it wasn't just them. When we were standing at the end of their driveway, countless strangers driving by rolled down windows and shouted happy birthday. OUr friends even said that one guy walking by gave them the seven dollars he had in his wallet. Everyone understands how hard it is to be a kid (or even an adult) in this time.

Even in this time of being sheltered-at-home there are ways to love our neighbors. We always have a chance to be the good in the world.

School in the time of Covid 19

The biggest change for our children, I believe, is school. They had spring break early in March and came back to the schols being closed. I don't think it was on anyone's radar at that point that they wouldn't be going back to school for a while. Originally the first two days after spring break were called off by the school district. Then the governor called off the next week and a half. Then the shelter at home order came for two weeks in April and has now been extended into May. Other states have called off the remain school year. We're not sure if we'll be going back or not.

So I haven't been working for about a month and a half now. There is no need for substitute teachers, of course. But the teachers are busy. Our state started doing distance learning at the beginning of April. It was good once it started--the kids needed it. Our middle schoolers have all of their classes every day. Their teachers make a folder online with the weeks' work. Each day they go in and do a lesson and the work. They can choose when they want to do it. Only one of my son's classes has had a live video chat.

The high school spilt the school day into an A and B day. They only have 5 periods, so A day has 3 and B day has 2. In between the classes the teachers are available for questions or other needs. Some of those classes are taught live online. Others have a video lesson to watch and work to do. They've had a fair amount of homework (at least in the AP & Pre-AP classes that our kids have).

The vidoe classes have been good in that the kids kind of get to interact with other students. I think that's what the children are missing most--the social interaction--that and normalcy, of course.

For their PE classes, they're supposed to get in 30 minutes of exercise a day: walking, running, playing tennis, shooting hoops, dancing, weight lifting, situps/pushups, etc. That's been helpful in getting them up and moving and usually going outside.

But my middle schooler is missing the hands-on part of his industrial technology class. The musicians won't get to do concerts this year. My step-daughter didn't get to perform the musical she had been rehearsing for. And then there's my nephew and guys from youth group who are seniors and missing out on that whole experience--prom, last days with their friends, maybe even graduation itself.

I think it's giving everyone an appreciation for school again--even those who typically hate going to school most days.

Easter in the time of Covid19

Easter was different this year. Now, it would have been different regardless of the pandemic going on as the majority of our kids were at their other parents' homes, so we had our Easter meal and the kids found their baskets of candy on Palm Sunday.

Easter 2020 was a virtual experience, of course, as everyone is supposed to be Sheltered at Home. We didn't get on in time to do "live church," but we watched some Easter services. Parts of four of them. It is kind of fun to see parts of other services--especially where friends are involved.

But it's very different not being around a church family on Easter morning.

When I was growing up Holy Week was a big deal. Albert City, Iowa, was the home of just under 1000 people back then. There were three churches in town--Evangelical Covenant, Evangelical Free, and Evangelical Lutheran (and a couple more Lutheran churches in the country). During Holy Week the churches would work together for a variety of programs. They would take turns hosting a special speaker (often someone from the church's seminary) who would speak a couple evenings during the beginning of the week. There would be a men's prayer breakfast and a women's tea. Each church typically did their own thing for Maunday Thursday/Good Friday (I honestly don't remember well if we did things both evenings or not). On Sunday morning--early at 7am--the youth from the three churches would put on a Sunrise Service (again, rotating which church hosted and led the service; the churches not leading the service usually provided a musical selection). My senior year we had a trumpet player from each church, so myself and two girls were in the balcony of the Lutheran church playing trumpet along with some of the hymns (like perenniel favorite Up From the Grave He Arose). After the service there would be a brunch--typically an egg bake and cinnamon rolls would make an appearance. Then we'd have a short respite before going to our own church's regular services. Extended family would be home for the holilday there would be a bunch of second and third cousins in church. We usually would have Easter Dinner at my grandparents' or an uncle's home (sometimes our own). My mom usually made a three-dimensional rabbit cake with green-dyed coconut "grass". We'd have an Easter Egg hunt outside with dyed hard-boiled eggs. Earlier in the morning (between the two church services, I believe, we'd run back home to hunt for our hidden basket and hidden candy eggs around the living room--usually foil-wrapped little cocolate eggs and some malted-milk ball eggs).

I do remember some egg hunts outside in the snow, but that was a rarity. Yesterday we had several inches of snow which felt cruel after the previous day's 60 degree temperature where we were hiking ouside. A church friend from my wife's Bible study group drown through the snow to deliver a hyacinth. We could only wave from our window.

Sheltered at Home Church

Because our kids are all with their other parents this coming weekend (an odd sentence that only blended families have reason to use), we had our "Easter" yesterday. The kids had baskets full of candy to find. We had ham and company potatoes for dinner after church.

Church. Or what is now church.

Everything is new in this quarantined, virus-plagued world. We've been doing church online for several Sundays now. We've got two different churches between us (and multiple service choices between those two). We've been donig a pre-recorded video (I know some do a facebook live type event), and trying to gather the family together at a certain time. We still try to sing the hymns, say the prayers, and take some sermon notes. This past Sunday my church had recommended people have bread and juice/wine on hand to do communion. That helped make it feel a little more church like.

Jesus said that where two or three are gathered in His name, there His amongst them. But what if two or three can't gather together? In our case, we're lucky because of the size of our household. But a family does not make a church. A community makes a church. Yet in our online world, two or three can gather though oceans apart.

I'd like to say I'm deepening my spiritual disciplines during this time. Partly, it's hard to find quiet space while being sheltered at home with five other people. Partly, I haven't done any major attempts at it (which is the real reason nothing has happened). With all the changes, it's sometimes hard enough just to live life without getting swept away in the confustion of it all. Which probably gives all the more reason to give more focus to my relationship with God right now.

So let's do it. I guess in the midst of Covid 19, there are questions. Where is God in all this? Why is He letting this happen? Is there a bigger purpose--some "good" thing that is to come out of this? How do I love my neighbor during this? How do I love myself? What about my fears of not having an income for a while? How do I raise my children up right during this? What will our new normal be?

I don't have the answers. I know God is present and that He cares. I know because He's proven that when I've gone through tough stuff in life before. IJ know He wants to hear these things from me. That I need to tell Him. I also know He has things He wants me to hear from Him--things like I am loved, that I am not in control, and that He can be trusted.

And thankfully I am not in this alone. We're in this together, and many people are providing great resources (worship videos, uplifting messages, ideas for families, etc.).

The mantra that has followed me from different places in life (working at Bible camp in Iowa, worshipping at church in Minnesota, serving in Ecuador, and other places in between) has been:

God is good. All the time.
And all the time, God is good.

Even in the midst of chaos, there is goodness to be found. Like under those decaying leaves from last fall where the flowers are starting to poke up through the ground. Or from the children down the street who write encouraging messages with sidewalk chalk on their driveway. Or in taking communion together as a family at home.

Sheltered at Home

I haven't written much in the past several years.

I mostly isolated myself following my divorce.

And being remarried and blending has enough issues let alone all the time spent having four teenagers in the house.

But now we're being "quarantined" under the Shelter at Home directives by our governor during the Covid 19 (Coronavirus) pandemic.

The world has changed. We haven't seen anything like this since the influenza pandemic of 1918. And the world is much different now than it was then. People aren't as self-sufficient. Travel--at least commuting--is a part of life. Technology has changed.

This week our kids started distance learning. It had been three weeks since they'd been to school. It's been two and a half weeks since I've worked. My wife has been working from home for the past two weeks. While we're not all in this house all the time, needless to say it can be stressful when all six of us are here for a few days. Not to mention that it's not easy to work online with most of us needing to be at the same time.

The kids miss seeing their friends. I think that's been the hardest for all of us. But we've all be learning to use things like Zoom and Google Hangouts to connect with others. We're finding ways to worship at home with our church communities online.

Several puzzles have been done. Basketballs have been shot in the driveway. We've had some walks and bike rides.

But the world is different. There are uncertainties. We don't know how long any of this will go on for. Groceries and switching with the other parents' houses are about all we get out for. And the grocery stores are hit or miss on what can be found. Toilet paper aisles have been empty for weeks. Bread and pasta are there one day and gone another. Skim milk (which my stepdaughter only drinks) seems to be out of production.

Changes bring stress and anxiety. They also bring growth and new things. The warm weather outside reminds us of this, as the geese have returned to the lake and the tulips are thrusting up out of the ground. Change isn't easy, but it can be beautiful.