I've Got Nothing, Still I Write

Some days it just feels like I've got nothing to write about (so why am I writing then your sarcastic self may ask?). And it's not that nothing is happening. I could write about the marriage amendment in Minnesota (but anything said there is going to be divisive). I could be pedestrian and discuss the rash of insanely warm weather we've been having right after having had snow recently. I could wax poetic about my children's marvelous abilities or drone on in lament over their periods of frustrating behavior.

I could count down the days until school is out. It seems appropriate. I'm ready for summer. But when I focus on the days left, I find myself missing out on the present. I come across as more of a whiner when I'd rather be someone who finds enjoyment in the moment and tries to make it a good day.

Speaking of good days, I'm trying to focus less on wishing to have a good day, and more on making it a good day. It's an attitude decision, after all. As is most of life. It's also something I'm striving to work on with our oldest son who can get himself in an emotional slump easily.

So while there are possible topics, I don't feel like I've got anything worthwhile to say. But I write nonetheless. In some aspect I write because I need to--or at least I feel compelled. It's cathartic in some ethereal way. It helps me focus my thoughts, as well as explore what's going on in that gray matter within my skull.

I also write because I love to read. They're connected in my mind. I'm not one who spends the whole evening reading or can finish a book in a day or two, but I do it each night before sleeping (almost compulsively, I admit). I've currently got about three books I'm reading at once along with a stack of books in queue. Plus the books arriving from publishers for me to review. I really hope that's not as unhealthy as it sounds.

But I read to learn about the world and humanity  (as well as it being a good diversionary outlet sometimes). Even if I only read fiction, I learn about how to relate to and appreciate the stories of others. I learn to think in ways I wouldn't think on my own. I learn look at the world from different viewpoints--even if I don't agree with them (which are usually the best viewpoints to learn from).

And when I write I learn about myself. It gives me a chance to process my thoughts, to explore what's going on in my head. I usually don't take the time for that inner-reflection unless I write.

So, as much as there at times I like to write and know that people read what I write, the writing is for myself. Just as when you read, you read for yourself. But in the reading, and the writing, we find ourselves connected to the larger whole of humanity. And so our nothing becomes a part of a bigger something.

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