Good or Bad or Something Else?

Anders has a lot (underscore that) of toddler-size Star Wars figures that he loves to play with. But as he's playing, he likes to know if the figure he has is a good guy or a bad guy. He knows that the Jedi are good; the Empire is bad. But some characters aren't so easy to classify. The clone troopers start out as good guys, helping the Jedi, but then the Emperor tells them to kill the Jedi, and they obey orders. And even most of the good guys have their moments when their actions aren't of noblest content. But it's hard to explain the human condition to a 3-year old. Especially when he just wants to play, have fun and know who's on whose side.

And that's where I find myself (and we all do if we're honest). Martin Luther said that Christians are simil justus et pecator--at the same time justified and sinful. It's another hard-to-swallow paradox of following Jesus--that we're simultaneously a sinner and a saint.

Tonight at bed time, I read the story of the crucifixion from one of the boys' Bibles to them. Anders seems to understand why Jesus went to the cross--though he doesn't fully understand that it was for him as well as everyone else. He gets that we've all got bad things in our lives. He at least knows that Jesus had to pay the price for our sins because we can't do it on our own. And he gets that Jesus did it because God loves us all beyond measure. And God has provided a way for us to turn from our sins and have them removed from us so that we can return to an intimate relationship with Him. And in that relationship, though our sins have been removed, we often find ourselves in our previous state of following our sinful desires rather than the Spirit's direction. And so, we're simil justus et pecator.

Today, I'm especially aware of my state before God. And I'm thankful for the cross (even though it pains me to think what Jesus went through). It is there that my numerous sins were (and are) forgiven. And it is there that I become fully aware of God's love for me.